Gender Roles and Homeownership – Part II – Observations

It’s been a few weeks since I wrote the homeownership post.  And there has been some healthy conversation around it.  Nobody got offended, thoughts and views were shared.

So, during the past few weeks, I have been paying attention to gender roles around this topic.  And it’s empirical evidence to my initial point, that most women just don’t like to do home improvement or projects.


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  • Facebook Sales – due to my recent move, I’ve been selling a lot of things on closed neighborhood Facebook groups.  Most common comments?

“Let me check with hubby” (not kidding)

It was the ‘hubby’ that had to figure out the transportation, assembling, disassembling and usually the pick up on heavy items.  On my end, it was also a male (my young son) who did the disassembling and hauling up and down the stairs.  There was only one ‘sort of’ exception to this – heavy wooden rocking chairs from my veranda….a woman came to pick them up, but it was again a guy who loaded her car.

  • HGTV House Hunters – yes, it’s a reality show of sorts, but it can be entertaining.  Reoccurring theme:  husband says “I don’t want to anymore projects, I like house X because no project, house  Y has too many projects, I’m tried of project.”
  • General Facebook posts – women showing off home improvement photos that their husbands completed.
  • Work chit chat – guys at work talking about their never ending projects in the house.  I have not heard one woman yet (and I work with successful women) referencing  anything around this topic.

So yes, the trend seems to be that maintenance, projects, etc., are guy things.  I recently talked to one man who said now that he can afford to pay someone, he’s fed up with project and doesn’t want to deal with it.  He is a multi millionaire and likes to enjoy his free time with other activities such as travel.  There are exceptions of course.  There is a local bath remodeling company owned by a woman (and she is hands on, not just doing the business part).  But the trend is real.  So my decision was the right once, I can’t do it myself, so don’t do it.  I like to analyze my decisions, maybe too much, even after the decision was made.

I do notice that more and more people are saying (both genders) that they are fed up with home projects.  But again, the man is default guy if both hate it (most of the time, always exceptions).


Now if I just didn’t have to experience the most unethical realtor who was my first listing agent on my house (I fired her, but it’s costing me lost time and $ to have encountered her-that is another post yet to come, how NOT to choose a realtor and waste thousands and thousands of $s while stressing to death). So my homeownership is still far from over but I’m really looking forward to the day it is.

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How to Recharge an Overwhelmed and Over Focused Mind

My last blog entry about focusing was a several months ago. Maybe I focused too much and I had to look at my own blog to remember to enjoy some of the decadence. Of course I’ve done that before for my food blog as well. Forgot a recipe? Refer to my blog. I also recently reread that blog about how to effectively manage facebook, after I re-activated it. Facebook noise is again starting to drown out my own thoughts.

The past few months have been extremely busy with these ‘paths’: forming an LLC, some new networking opportunities to name a few. The new LLC, like anything is a great opportunity for creating: website, logo, business cards and LinkedIn  account and a purpose.   As a result, I have to continually remind myself to enjoy some of the decadence of life, whether nature, people, food, dogs, or whatever. I did manage this to some extent, but this blog reminds me to get back on that path. Internal brainstorming is exhausting. But during the weekends I do try to resume the decadence of what there is.

Key Reminder

I still say walks and drives to unusual places are great ways to disconnect. They are great ways recharge an overwhelmed brain. It is not about functionality. Sure I can sit in my nice home and write and try to charge. But no, I always find writing in coffee shops more effective to clear my mind out. This is what I am doing today. I drove to a further location just to clear my mind. It worked. I am writing.

Although it is a cool weekend, I decided to enjoy the weather.

For some reason the stigma of a flower produces hope in one’s spirit, even if only while visible.  A drive a to a nice park around here provides some great fresh air and a lot great visuals for one’s mind and soul.

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I may not live by an ocean, but at least I can feel like it sometimes.  I drove to a great port with some fun memories of an annual event.  A lot of fresh air and blue sky helped.

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Always the symbolism of the lone trees

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A fun hangout by the port.  While writing this, a very old song popped in my head,  “The sailors say “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea”  (note, they could, but won’t, not even in the song-reality).

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Back to enjoying the decadence of my car…never fails

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And more decadence of nature…lilacs.  In my former house, I had lilac bushes, but I don’t right now.  A spring has not commenced for me without literally inhaling the lilacs.  So I drove about half an hour to massively inhale the lilacs.

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Another lone tree, but this one is strong and well established.

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More nature symbolism…sometimes beauty is in the oddest places, but does it survive?

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And one of the finest and rarest forms of decadence, fine food made by some decadent and meaningful individuals.

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More fine food that night.

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So on  Sunday, another week of focused chaos approaches.  Occasionally, even I need to reread my blogs to focus on some enjoyment.