Isolationism – good, bad, the new trend?

Prince Nicks
“Can you relate?”

Recently I’ve been reading more and more about people who are turning into isolationists, is this trend good or bad? Is being an isolationist an outcome of years of disappointment, or is it just something that occurs over time as we deal with cumulative disappointment?

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Is it healthy? Does it lead to bad outcomes (e.g., suicides, drug overdose deaths, violence)?

Originally the term referred to being an isolationist around foreign policy, but these days it’s more at the individual level.

Recently in an interview, Stevie Nicks speculated about Prince’s untimely death:

“You’re not married, you don’t have children… you don’t hang out with a bunch of people because you’re really an isolationist.”


These comments are extremely thought provoking. I’m still putting together this ‘isolationist puzzle.’  A few months ago, I read that Enya lives alone in some large castle, why? Surely she can find friends and be popular, but she too chooses this isolationist life like Prince, and she lives alone in this large and luxurious dwelling.

Why is this an increasing phenomenon, especially among some very successful talented people? We learn from psychology that humans are pack animals and social interactions are good for our mental health, so this increased trend toward isolationism may go against what’s ‘good for us.’ But the underlying assumption about hanging out with friends, is that our friends, at minimum, are a decent bunch. These friends may not be our soul mates, but they keep us sane. Even if we don’t feel like going out, our friends talk us into it and we come home feeling better. I’ve had some personal experiences with family members who never wanted to go out, but once they did they felt good. Of course, these family members had bouts of depression, and depression too can make you into an isolationist even if you have great family and friends, but this new phenomena is different. I’m not a psychiatrist, but this new phenomena of isolationism doesn’t feel like depression, instead it feels like a deliberate choice to be alone. Maybe not the ideal choice, but the realistic one. As someone recently told me “I choose to be alone.” At first I thought this was an insane comment, who would choose to be alone? They aren’t alone because it’s a choice; they are alone because it’s what was dealt to them by life. But now I think my first reaction is wrong.

I am not a loner (yet?), but have recently had more than my fair share (if there is such a share allocated by fate) of weird people that I’ve encountered.  And recently, I’ve also chosen to spend more of my time alone too. I can do whatever I want; no demands, no compromises. In light of the recent tragedy in Las Vegas, I’ve become very skeptical about ‘what lies beneath’ a person’s exterior.

Maybe people who have turned into isolationists are right, and Prince and Enya had figured it all out. Something known as the ‘selection bias’ in statistics explains why we sometimes attract strangeness. When you are that successful and well known, you may attract the worst in society: someone after your fame and glory (and that’s relative). It reminds me of the stories I heard as a child: the prince (the royalty, not the musician) goes into town disguising himself as the pauper to really see who likes him. Someone with any level of success, accomplishments, and looks has to do the same. If you don’t, you may get people who are fascinated largely by your success or looks. I am sure Prince found himself surrounded by people who only liked him because he was Prince. And yes, it’s hard to separate a person from their success (after all it’s their essence that created their success), but a challenging, and potentially the best, solution is to become an isolationist. Maybe some humans are transitioning from being a pack animal to a lone one such as a tiger or cheetah. But this transition is not easy, even if it is the right solution.

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When Prince died, I said he died of loneliness. What friend would leave someone with known issues with opiates alone, only to die alone in an elevator (with expert help coming the next day)? But it’s this exact reason that leads some to become isolationists. Certainly people like Prince can surround themselves with others all the time, but people who truly care about them (not just on social media)….not so much. So back to Stevie Nicks’ comments; after a month of thought, I think she’s right. Prince and Enya chose to be isolationists, and more and more people are doing so. I see people alone all the time and they seem fine, I think it is by choice.

I’m sure many blame social media; we can get our daily fix of social interactions on Facebook by reading comments without ever having to leave our house, or ever having to care about anyone. Are real life social encounters better? Of course, but apparently they are on the decline. What will be the outcome?


February Focus

February is time to reevaluate paths on all levels.


So how does one keep all the decadence that one values going? For the past couple of years, February has been an interesting month of changes for me: a time to figure out which path to take in life; which variables to change, which variables to keep the same. This approach definitely keeps one form being complacent. But it is a lot easier said than done, especially when you want to go in many directions at the same time and have major responsiblities.   While I’m still attempting to focus, the default path is not necessarily the right one. As ideas and paths incubate, here are some fun and decadent ways to sort through it all. This reevaluate  concept applies to career, relationship choices, your location choice, activities you spend time on and pretty much anything

Yes, it helps to have several warm and sunny days in  February.  I could enjoy a few drives with the top down.   But then, this also made me question, why do I live in a cold climate?

Just drive..


The Question….

Driving back from the gym, still looking for a sign and paths .  You don’t need a convertible to drive …drive the car you have on a fairly open road.  There is something about driving that asserts your independence and ability to survive.


For me, driving with the top down has been very satisfying.  It’s great for contemplation and it’s also a great mood lifter.  Yes, having some decent weather in February helped. Somewhat chilly but I blasted the heat.  Sometimes the destination was unknown, but I usually landed in a nice place. This area is great for nice drives. Destination:  the lake


Or a local restaurant I’ve been meaning to visit for the past 8 months:




Yes, I’m addicted to caffeine, but it can be consumed in so many ways and it’s an easy way to  clear your mind, focus, and lift your mood.  It smells great and looks great in many forms:


Home made espresso


A warm morning, a nice robust roast from Starbucks brewed at home served in an artsy mug.


I finally tried a local boulangerie for a capuccino and croissant…for me this never gets old.  Coffeshops are always great places to think.  No piles of laundry needing to be done, no floor that needs to be cleaned,  no dishwasher that needs to be loaded, and so on.


Brighten your hair and your outlook  brightens up as well.  At least when you look in the mirror you appear brighter and you seem brighter in the eyes of others.


Fun Bedazzled Flask

Yes, this one was inspried by Rhianna’s flask show at the Grammy’s.  Seems to have worked for her inspite of the  painfully long show.  Yes,  this is fun.  May not help you focus, but disconnecting for a day helps you focus better the next day.


Fullfilling Food

Ahi tuna never fails and it’s not even hard or expensive to make at home:


And organic eggs at midnight instead of some unhealthy food will fuel the brain for Monday


Although I don’t eat a lot of burgers, I will eat a unique one.  On that one sunny day, I was able to enjoy the great weather and this new restaurant that opened in my neighborhood..


Sunrise Sunset

Always pay attention; it’s a great decadent show that nature puts on



Google and Research

Yes, this may sound like a random web surfing exercise, but it does help with your internal brainstorming and a new path may even be identified


These are just a few ways to reevaluate and shift focus if needed.  Do I have the answers?  No, but I’m still working on it.  Not to copy Amelie (from the french movie Amelie), but sometimes self created  ‘signs’ during these activities can pop up too. And eventually after all this focusing and shifting.




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